christian living


You Don’t Do What?!

When I was a makeup assistant, I remember one day running up to my mentor and saying, “Omg, did you see the new Roberto Cavalli ad?!  The makeup was #goals, amazing,  insane!”, with so much excitement and zeal.  He gave me a look of obvious lackluster, shrugged, and said, “No, I don’t look at makeup pics or fashion mags.”  I stood there for a few seconds, I’m sure looking like a hit dog, lol, and wondered how 1 of the top makeup artists in thheee world didn’t keep up with ‘the trends’! I mean, seriously??!!

photo credit: giphy.com
photo credit: giphy.com

Addressing the #goals Phenomenon

Fast forward, 2 years later, and I can’t tell you the last time I intentionally looked at a fashion magazine or hip new makeup account. The reason is simple. I want to be sincere in my creativity, organic in my creation process, and don’t want to be bogged down with “inspiration”.  This was his reasoning, and I’ve discovered a lot of artists’ reasoning for doing the same!  Over the last year or so, I’ve seen this phenomenon–a saturation of “inspiration” , or better yet, obsession with #goals.  It’s become a huge monster, that may overwhelm us all, if unaddressed.   Let’s try here:-)

Now, don’t misunderstand, I think being inspired is a beautiful thing.  It took some sort of inspiring catalyst to propel most of us into the things we’ve accomplished in life.  But what I’ve noticed is our (I say our, because I’m a victim of this at times as well) over consumption and albeit insatiable desire to be inspired can get out of hand.  This is an era of surplus.  Surplus in the media, from social platforms, blogs, vlogs, you name it, we’re putting it out there, for the world to see, and…you guessed it: be inspired by, lol.

But how much is too much?  If we wake up every day, and absorb all these #goals, when are we stepping away to actually see what we UNIQUELY can create, what we distinctly need to be content, the things that we can come up with on our own–from just God and our imagination?  Most of us hit up social media early in the day, and pop in & out of it throughout the day, so the scales of inspiration exposure & authentic time spent creating, can’t possibly be balancing out.

How can we achieve balance?  I have some ideas.  The top 3 areas I’ve observed that we spend so much time being inspired by are success, relationships, and body images.  Let’s dig a bit deeper:

1. SUCCESS #goals.

Define Your Own Success

photo credit: Pinterest.com/WowContentClub
photo credit: Pinterest.com/WowContentClub
photo credit: madamenoire.com
photo credit: madamenoire.com

This one is easy to notice.  Trust me, I get it, who doesn’t want to be successful?  Who doesn’t want to wake up in their dream home, with their dream bae, taking pics of perfectly curated meals at posh cafes, and making lotsa dough for working a seemingly effortless & glamorous job?!  

There’s this thing called ‘contentment’, that we all must learn, AS we climb our own ladders to success.  I quite enjoy a motivational podcast or youtube video when I need a kick in the butt towards productivity. However,  I can’t possibly be living in MY truth, if I start paying too much attention to the lives of other people.

If we place other people’s achievements on a mountain top, and say that’s our #goal, we will never be enough.

More than likely, this person will continue to be successful, and the mountain top will magically get higher & higher –with you never being able to catch up! It’s silly, and unnecessarily draining!

Besides, you have no idea HOW  people acquired these things that you’re perceiving to be a by product of ‘success’, nor what they’re doing to keep them, lol (just saying!).  So, let’s commit to watering our own grass, and watching it become greener and greener by the day, because our perspective has leveled up–we’re focused on what God has uniquely designed for each and every one of us!   You define your own success, there is no standard definition!

2.  RELATIONSHIP #goals.

Comparison Is the Enemy!

photo credit: tumblr.com/relationshipgoals3
photo credit: tumblr.com/relationshipgoals3
photo cred: ladywithattitude.com
photo cred: ladywithattitude.com

Okay…this may ruffle a few feathers (but ya’ll know I don’t care lol).  If I don’t agree with something on social media, more likely than not, I simply don’t comment.  This is a trend that truly aggravates me!  What does this even mean, #relationshipgoals ?! lol.  Every relationship is different.  Every relationship is also not made up of the things you see.  Not to say that people can’t be abundantly happy in their relationship (this is certainly possible!), but understand, when bae messes up, they’re not making a status update!  That’s just not how it goes:-) You have no idea what goes on in the privacy of these #goal relationships, nor what they’ve gone through to achieve this visible ‘happiness’.

I feel as though, for women, marriage & being in a relationship is placed so high on the success barometer, that we may be led to make it an idol.  We cannot worship man, nor the idea of having a man!  Why?  Because no man is perfect… ‘cept King Jesus, lol, and you can’t make him bae, so chill out!

Ok, seriously, I understand the desire for companionship, and not just any type of companion–but a partner that treats you well!  But whomever God has for you, will not be like so & so, and your relationship won’t be like so & so’s, neither.  Also, if you glorify the details of a particular couple’s relationship, when you finally do get into your own, you’ll subconsciously be comparing the two, and that’s a recipe for disaster! So, let’s just double tap the cute vacay pics of her & #bae, be thankful that great men do exist, and happy that one of our sisters is enjoying a beautiful love story–-AS we focus on our own, or patiently await it!

3.  BODY #goals.

It’s All About Perspective

photo credit: elle.com
photo credit: elle.com
photo credit: onsizzle.com
photo credit: onsizzle.com

Looking at fitness models’ pictures was a frequent thing for me when I first started my fitness journey.  Like for most of you, it motivated me and made me want to work harder.  While this is fine and pretty normal, we can’t become obsessed with unrealistic expectations for our bodies.

Everyone is made differently, genetics heavily come into play, and we’re biologically unable to achieve some of our body #goals (naturally anyway–no shade, lol).  So, I’m not saying to stop looking at fitness accounts, but I am saying, we should do so without being too hard on ourselves!  As long as we know–without a doubt, that we’re doing our very best and transforming our bodies at our own rates, that should be enough:-)

Watering Our Own Grass

There’ll always be something we don’t like about ourselves.  So what do we do about it?  We become fans of what IS banging on our bodies–and everyone has SOMETHING!  When I got into weight lifting, I dropped a whole cup size, yikes! lol .  But I learned/learninggg ,lol, to love the features about me that aren’t stellar.

Further enhance those strong areas (maybe it’s your butt, your arms, your waistline), while you learn to love the parts that you’re not too thrilled about.

Spoiler alert:  Eventually you will love ALL the parts of you & not tolerate anyone who makes you think you shouldn’t!

I hope this article was thought provoking and in some ways helpful:-) And as I minister to you on these things, I’m preaching to myself as well, lol!  I love the endless possibilities we have at our fingertips due to things like social media and blogs.  However, I also love stepping away from it all, getting really quiet, and observing my OWN life.  There’s something about listening to what God says is uniquely for me, and just enjoying the life I’m currently living–versus always living in the future.

 #Goals are nice.  #Goals can even push us into depths we may not have gone before.  But even #goals must be tamed, as we strive for a healthy balance between reality, and our beloved #inspiration 💜 .

Leave me a comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts:-) Share this post on your socials if it helped you and you think it may help someone else!

Until next time, bye lovaas💋